Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Aggressive affection

I've come up with a new term to decribe the way Matthew and Jonathan relate to each other.
I've decided to call it "aggresssive affection."
It starts off sweet.
One grabs the other around the waist or shoulders, leans his head against his twin, grins and makes baby noises.
Most often, the other responds in kind.
It's a Hallmark moment.
Or a Kodak moment.
Or something like that.
Until it's not.
Usually, within about five minutes, hugging becomes flinging.
Flinging becomes wrestling.
Grins turn to giggles.
Wrestling results in head stomping, eye poking or chest crushing.
Giggles evolve into tears.
I should probably stop it before it even begins.
But I can't.
When I watch them standing there with their arms around each other, their heads together and those untamed smiles on their faces, I am reminded of their infancy. I remember when we would put them down at night crossways on opposite sides of their crib only to find them together in the middle minutes later with their heads touching.
Sometimes, we'd find them holding hands.
They don't intend to hurt each other during their wrestling matches.
They just get carried away.
I like to think that they get too aggressive simply because of their need to be physically close to each.
Hence, the justification for my new term for their sometimes bloody battles (Matthew's head whacked Jonathan's face a few days ago, leaving Jonathan with a bloody nose. A few days before that, Jonathan repopened a small cut on Matthew's leg.): Aggressive affection.
Sweet, huh?


Rachelle said...

I'm not a mom by any means, but I am a twin whose other was stillborn, so I'm very interested in twins in general. I have to say that I found your blog yesterday night and finished reading all the entries by now. It's fun to read about your everyday adventures with your children and read how their personalities emerge as they grow. I think you're a great mom and simply wished to tell you so.

O'Mara Mommy said...

I am the mother of identical twin boys who are 6. This describes them exactly!! It made me laugh and made my day!!

Twinsmom said...

Thank you so much Rachelle! That's very sweet. I am sorry about your loss. I lost a sister who was two years younger. It always leaves me wondering what my life would have been like with her in it. It must be even more consuming when the lost sibling is a twin.
O'Mara Mommy, I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone ... and that there is hope they'll make it to 6!

Carla said...

I was encouraged by your blog about aggressive affection-my 7 year old fraternal twin boys resemble that remark. It is hear warming at the same time as blood curdling-when they choke, hug, and 'play" with each other. Its nice to know mine aren't unique.

Anonymous said...

That sounds like my boys. It is so reasuring to know I am not alone. My identical twin boys will be two in July. There is not a day that goes by that this "love-hate" relationship doe not exist. One moment they are nicely sharing and playing with their Lighting McQueen cars (or any toy) and the next the chase and tackle is on! Any words of wisdom?


The Cloutiers said...

love the term!!!

for our little guys it usually involves head butting until one of them gets hit w/ a really hard thunk and then the wailing ensues.

It is fun to watch them good naturedly wrestling and playing but I too hate it when it goes that one step too far and think, oh I should have stopped this minutes ago.
-Jennifer (mom to Z&H who are almost 2 1/2 now)