Saturday, May 2, 2009

Anger management

When Matthew and Jonathan are angry with each other, they do what many siblings their age do: they hit each other.
So what do they do when they are angry with me?
They hit each other.
I haven't quite figured this one out.
I've talked to other twin moms, assuming this must be a common issue.
It's not.
No one had answers for me.
All I can figure is that jealousy plays a role; Matthew and Jonathan are so accustomed to each other that, somehow, whenever they are angry with me, they figure it must be the other twin's fault.
This phase has convinced us of one thing: it is time to work harder at separating them now and then. They need to learn to handle their emotions as individuals, not as a team.
Since it seems that we're at the grocery store just about every day, that's where we'll start.
A trip for Jonathan today.
A trip for Matthew tomorrow.
And maybe, just maybe it will work.
Maybe, next time I evoke their fury, they'll channel their emotions appropriately.
They'll hit me instead of each other.
Wait a minute ...
What the heck are we doing?


cat said...

You are so doing the right thing! Order the book " Raising emotionally healthy twins" by Joan Friedman on Amazon. It advocates this and other measures to ensure that twins do not become too attached.

jay_say said...

My boys did the same thing... they did think it had to be the other's fault. We did start doing things separate. But now that they are 5 1/2 they get so jealous and want to know what the other one is doing. They love to dress differently but still have to be in the same room (if they aren't then they will always go and "check" what the other is doing).

dancilhoney said...

There are surely times when we can get more prone to anger. Knowing how to manage it is a wonderful trait to have. anger classes