Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Twins are dangerous

Twins are dangerous, especially at two years old.
I concluded that today when I realized that I couldn't do dishes with fresh cuts on three of my knuckles on my right hand. Only one injury was new, but the other two had occurred within the past 24 hours and had reopened during the last incident.
All three can be blamed on the twins.
The first knuckle scratch happened when I was trying to scoop food up from underneath the dining room table. The twins had tossed their lunch freely throughout the dining room, a favorite game of theirs. I was hurrying because Jonathan was anxious to squish the very-soft green beans into the floorboards.
I turned a bit too quickly and hit my head.
As I reached for my head, I scraped my knuckle on the rough wood under the table.
The second incident was diaper-related.
I was reaching for a diaper in the cabinet above the changing table while trying to keep Matthew from kicking me. He does that when he prefers nakedness and I insist on clothing. Just as my hand grasped the diaper, I got a foot in my stomach. I yanked my right hand back and scraped the knuckle on the cabinet door.
The third incident occurred this morning.
Both boys had stripped while I was in the bathroom. I found Matthew leaning causally against the sofa while peeing on the carpet. I rushed to get him on a potty and spied Jonathan peeing on the hardwood by the front door.
It was too late for Matthew anyway, so I put him down and grabbed some paper towel, hoping to at least soak up some of Jonathan's mess before anyone slid in it. As I passed Matthew, he started peeing again.
I threw my arms out in exasperation and caught my knuckles on the edge of the counter top, creating a new cut and reopening the other two.
To make matters worse, I have a Band-Aid on my fingertip. That incident was unrelated. I was trying to re-cork a bottle of wine and cut my finger on some remaining foil.
But wait.
Why did I drink that red wine last night?
Oh yea, the twins.
See what I mean?
Twins are dangerous.

10 comments:

Timothy said...

I'm an identical twin boy also, though I'm 21 years-old now. I found your blog and read the entire two years in the middle of the night, quite enjoyable.

I've had to smile at how much Matthew and Jonathan look like my brother Michael and I did when we were little, except your boys are much bigger. Matthew looks so much like Michael, though, that I can tell him apart from Jonathan in the pictures without reading the captions.

Isn't it interesting, though, that while I think Matthew and Michael look very alike, I don't think Jonathan looks especially like me. He simply looks similar to his brother, who looks similar to my brother, who looks similar to me. Mind blowing, isn't it?

I'll try to keep reading in the future.

twinsmom said...

Thank you for posting Timothy! I'll look forward to your insights. I'm glad to hear that you see yourself as being so different from your brother. While we don't want to force the issue in any way, we do want Matthew and Jonathan to grow up as individuals who happen to have a unique relationship.

Holly said...

Lori, I drink wine for the same reason! hehe
I loved this entry, I guess misery loves company :)
-Holly

jay_say said...

OMG... too funny... I'll share the glass of wine with you! Time out has been a very popular place today - with all three of my boys.

Kristi said...

Love it! I've been there with deciding on who to rush to the potty and having to leave pee on the floor.

Sambrina's Mama said...

You just totally cracked me up! I can just imagine you there, with two peeing toddlers!

Let me know when your next glass will be and I will be enjoying one with you!

cat said...

Oh yes, way dangerous. I can just see that whole scenario playing out for myself.

kampt said...

That was priceless. I'm sorry for your knuckle wounds and the events that lead to their existance.

kampt said...

Oops, I meant to type "existence."

twinsmom said...

Kampt,
You have twins. You're allowed a mispelling or two! Those wounds have healed, but now I have a slice on my finger from a milk jug! Will it ever end!
Lori