Tuesday, January 8, 2008

The birthday looms

In just 10 days, the boys will be one year old. With that pending milestone, comes a whole new slew of questions from friends, family, casual acquaintances and even strangers.
How are we going to celebrate?
My husband and I hadn't given it much thought. Cake, ice-cream and a few gifts with just the six of us. That was the plan. The more children you have, the more you realize that first birthday parties are for the parents and the siblings, not the child who is approaching toddlerhood.
Still, I was curious. Was there something different we should be doing?
So I started researching online. It so happens, the topic is hot on online bulletin boards for moms of infant twins. In the interest of promoting separate identities, many parents out there will be baking separate cakes, singing the birthday song to each child separately and, in one case, even sending out separate invitations.
Panic began to set in, but it was short-lived.
Separate cakes, I can understand.
But, separate birthday songs?
And forget about separate invitations.
This is the one day of the year that we should really celebrate the fact that Matthew and Jonathan are twins. Not just any twins, but identical twins. They share DNA, they shared my uterus and they share a birthday.
They have a bond that no parents can give siblings no matter how badly they might want to. Their status as twins, especially as identical twins, is a gift. It is a blessing and we still wonder why we were so fortunate.
We are too tired for a big celebration, so it will be just the six of us. It has been a wonderful, but exhausting year and I am sure the celebrations will grow as they age. Regardless, there are three things I know will not change:
Matthew and Jonathan will share a birthday cake, they will share the birthday song and their names will always appear on one invitation. We will do this because who they are together is vital to their identities as individuals.

1 comment:

Lexi said...

I am so glad you posted this becuase I was worried about the exact same thing. My husband is going to be gone, so I didn't know what to do. A friend and I plan on getting a small party together but I worried about all the same things you mentioned!